Inspired by John Holbo’s delightful essay published on the Bleeding Heart Libertarian’s blog. Suppose that every society that exists, at least beyond a certain level of sophistication, was built, at least in part, atop a series of injustices. Suppose, further, that the harm or deprivation these injustices caused was not distributed randomly, like lightning strikes, but fell [...]
Category Archives: Satire
Obama victory reaction roundup
Posted by Terrence Watson on November 8, 2012 8 comments
UPDATED, see below for Rush Limbaugh’s post-election reaction. Exclusive to The Volunteer, Dissociated Press provided the following roundup of reactions to the reelection of President Barack Obama. What is left to hope for? That the American people will soon regret their choice? That another four years of economic stagnation and escalating debt will cure them of [...]
Councilman protects safety and justice by calling the cops on 13-year-old cupcake sellers
Posted by Peter Jaworski on November 16, 2010 1 comment
In shocking news from south of the border, a pair of miscreants and ne’er-do-wells were stopped in their gouging of terrified New Castle, New York residents by a quick-thinking and courageous local councilman. The criminals? Two 13-year-olds selling cupcakes and other candies in a public park, charging as much as $1 for a Rice Krispies [...]
Conservative government announces search for mindless, automaton immigrants that appear to have gone missing
Posted by Mike Brock on October 27, 2010 3 comments
OTTAWA (Disassociated Press) — There are at least one million missing mindless, automatic left-wing voting, welfare-leeching immigrants that appear to have gone missing in Toronto as evidenced by the recent municipal election in Toronto, according to political experts on the left and the right. Speaking at a media scrum in the rotunda of the Parliament, [...]
Officer Bubbles gets some help
Posted by Terrence Watson on October 21, 2010 4 comments
MARKHAM, ON. (Dissociated Press) — After facing a firestorm of criticism on the Internet and filing a lawsuit against Google, owners of YouTube, Toronto police officer Adam Josephs received help today from an unlikely source. Josephs was affectionately nicknamed “Officer Bubbles” because of his gentle demeanor and polite, professional conduct toward a protester during the [...]
Are queue-jumping immigrants going to lute our country?
Posted by Terrence Watson on October 21, 2010 1 comment
I also don’t understand why preference is being given to bards. Canada has Leonard Cohen. That should be enough.
Sarah Palin consumes live puppy
Posted by Terrence Watson on October 20, 2010 3 comments
INCLINE VILLAGE, NV. (Dissociated Press) — For the third time this month, former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin consumed an adorable puppy before a crowd of onlookers. Psychologists have been unable to provide any explanation for this bizarre behaviour. When pressed, Dr. B. Jerky of the University of Nebraska was the only expert willing [...]